Waking up to find that Heidegger’s cat liked my company, or at least the warmth of my Vienna apartment, I resigned myself to being a cat lover. I had no suitable food for…what was I going to call him? Fortunately the corner shop had a selection of tinned catfood. I went top of the range – this could be a one-off deal.

On leaving the shop, I bumped into Schrödinger. He greeted me cordially. We hung out in the same jazz clubs and had, on occasion, got into some heavy conversations about philosophy and colour perception. I saw numbers as colours, which intrigued the young scientist.

I told him about my new feline companion, but he expressed little interest. Cats for him were neither here nor there.