In case you were wondering, I am not good. This is not a statement about my moral decline, but a pedantic appeal for the reinstatement of adverbs. Nobody sends Get Good cards to ailing friends or relatives, so why should the common response to “how are you?” be “I’m good”?

When did adverbs get downgraded? Can we blame football pundits for comments like “the boy done good”? When you was younger did everyone speak proper? Course not, we was all to busy working on our glottal stops.