Having filled my espresso cup in the morning, the only thing that could improve my enjoyment is something sweet to go with it. I am now a fan of the chocolate doughnut. I had always thought that a custard doughnut was tops, but the dark gooey chocolate filling is a taste bud sensation.
To give a counterweight to all this rhapsody, I will give off about Western people who have soup for breakfast. It is wrong and you must stop it. What might be perfectly acceptable in the Mekong delta, such as substituting rice for Weetabix and soup for cappuccino is an affront to all right eating people in the Belfast conurbation – well me anyway.
Whilst leftover curries and pizzas may be freely enjoyed for breakfast by those who still have frightening levels of alcohol in their blood before lunchtime, sober folk should shun the savoury or risk having their Western imperialist membership revoked.
I will now don my gown and rush off to assist with winter graduation – give me a mask and a sword, I’m having a Zorro moment.

